Halo 3: QFT
by Zambo
Summary: Master Chief falls from the sky and wakes up with head issues. Big ones. Now, Humanities last, best hope, is insane.
1. Chapter 1 Arrival

It flew fast.

Very fast.

Coming off of the Covenant ship like a missile.

And being a fast moving object flying through the atmosphere, gravity would soon take its affect.

Which would mean that the aforementioned fast flying object started to arch downwards.

And it hit the ground, with no shortage of force.

Whatever the object was, now there aint much left of it.

* * *

"This ain't good." Said a Marine, Examining the crash.

"Damn. How far did he fall?" asked a second Marine.

"Two kilometers, easy." replied a third.

Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson took a long drag on his cigar and blew out the smoke.

"Stay sharp." He tells the Marines as the examine what had fell to Earth.

Spartan-117, otherwise know as The Master Chief, had jumped off the covenant ship, fell to Earth in a blaze of fire. percentile of survival: 0.3%. Not favorable. And every one there knew it.

The Spartan was dead.

The Marines advanced, taking combat positions around the corps. one gets next to the Spartan and pulls out a small computer.

Johnson walks forward to address him.

"Corpsman?" he asks.

"His armor's locked up. Gel layer _could_ have taken most of the impact." replies the Corpsman.

The corpsman types something on his computer and Chief's Armour unlocks its self.

Did I forget to mention he was in the stupidest position ever? Like a cat or something.

But back to the drama.

"I don't know, Sergeant Major." says the Corpsman.

Johnson kneels down beside Chief and feels for any sign that he is alive, then he removes Cortana's empty chip from Chief's head.

"Radio for VTOL," he says

"heavy lift gear. We're not leaving him here."

An armored had reaches up and grabs Johnson's arm and a voice says:

"Yeah. You're not."

Master Chief was very much alive.

"Crazy fool! Why do you always jump? One of these days, you're gonna land on somethin' as stubborn as you are! And I don't do bits and pieces!" Johnson says to Chief as he helps him up.

Silently, Chief takes Cortana's chip form Johnson.

"Where is she, Chief?" Johnson asks.

"Where's Cortana?"

Chief looks at Johnson. Before he can think of an answer he just blurts out:

"I accidentally her."

There was silence. All the Marines, including Johnson, where just staring at Chief.

Chief, ignoring the fact that he just became a retard in front of a few Marines and Johnson, surveys his surroundings. When he catches a glimps of an all too familiar sight: Covenant camouflage.

He charges in taking Johnson's pistol and shoves it into the Elite's mouth.

"Chief, wait!" Johnson yells.

"The Arbiter's with us!"

Chief stares at the Alien for a moment and removes the gun. Keeping his eyes fixed on him.

"Come on now." Johnson says.

"We got enough to worry about without you two tryin' to kill each other!"

"Were it so easy." Replies the Arbiter.

"We must go. The Brutes have our scent." Arbiter continues, as he walks away.

"Then they must love the smell of green. " Replies Johnson, as he hands Chief an assault rifle.

Chief hesitates and just stares at the Arbiter.

"Whats wrong Chief?" Asks Johnson puzzled.

"....Did...Did he always sound like that?" Asks Chief, clumsily taking the assault rifle.

"Sound like what?" Replies the Sergeant.

"You mean you don't hear it?" Chief asks. Johnson shakes his head.

"He sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Once more, every one stares at him. This time even the Arbiter.

"Maby," Says a Marine.

"Maby you should lie down for a second Chief?"

Master Chief contemplated on lying down and resting, maby clear his head a bit, but he had a world to save.

He looked at the Marine.

Raised his hand.

And gave the Marine his middle finger.

He turned to Johnson and said:

"I need a weapon."

"....Chief?" Johnson said as he pointed to Chief's hand, which had an assault rifle in it.

Without a word Chief begins to walk forward. One thought going throughout his head. Repeating to no end:

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

* * *

**Yo.**

**Review please Positive & negative feedback is always good**

**-Zambo  
**


	2. Chapter 2 Quid Pro Quo Crows nest

Master Chief and the Arbiter battled their way through the forest.

Along the way, Johnson's pelican was shot down and he was captured by Brutes.

Now Chief and The Arbiter must rescue him.

* * *

Master Chief and The Arbiter reach a low cliff overlooking a dam.

Damn, thought Chief, thats alot of Covenant.

The Arbiter points out towards the ends of the dam

"See how they bait their trap?" The two see Johnson being beat by a Chieftain and throw into a makeshift prison.

"I will help you spring it." He finishes.

"Hey Arbiter?" Chief asks.

"Yes?" He replies.

"Dont you want to know who my daddy is? And what it is he does?"

The Arbiter ignored the Chief and began moving down the cliff.

Non of the Covenant forces see the pair as they advance.

Chief is the first to fire. Killing a Grunt with a short burst from the Assault rifle he was carrying. The Covenant forces where alerted to the pairs presence and began to fight.

A plasma grenade goes off with the sound of hot plasma and rifle rounds flying through the air. Blood spatters the floor as Grunts and Jackles fall down dead.

All the small fry are done, but where are those brutes? Chief looked around.

"Spartan!" The Arbiter yelled and Chief instinctively ducked as Spiker rounds just barely avoided his head. Brutes where coming from the bridge, led by the Chieftain.

Chief ran up the stairs to the Bridge house and got a view of what he was up against.

Thats Seven Brutes, Chief thought to himself, Three Grunts, Two Jackles, and the Chieftain. Easy enough.

The Arbiter came up behind Chief and raised his carbine. The two charged the opposition and began to fire.

* * *

Johnson was sitting behind a plasma barrier tied up.

Now this just aint right, he thought to himself.

As he began to free himself from the ropes, Master Chief walked in.

"This isn't as fun as it looks." Said Johnson, "Cut the power!"

Chief did so and the other Marines freed themselves

"Brutes were gonna gut us, sir." said a Marine as he got up.

Johnson walked over to Chief "We're even," He says "as long as we're only counting today. Kilo 023, what's your ETA?"

"Imminent, Sergeant." Replied Hocus "Find some cover. Gotta clear a path."

"Roger that Hocus," Johnson replies "friendly gunship comin in hot!" He yells as he motions the Marines to pick up Covenant weaponry.

Master Chief walks outside where the Arbiter is. He lookes out to the Dam and notices two Phantoms carrying Covenant troops.

"Oh Damn." He says "How will we possibly solve this problem? I mean there isnt a Gunship on its way or anything, so we might have to actually do something and kill a ship?"

Just as Chief finished his sarcastic comment, Kilo 023 comes in from the river bend and fires a barrage of missiles at the first Phantom.

"Oh yes," Says the Chief, "God forbid I get to actually do anything cool and just sit here while a minor character ends what should be a great fight."

"Scratch one!" Hocus says, the pelican began another barrage of missiles. "Thats two!" Hocus brings the Pelican down on the dam, Jonson and his Marines move towards it with Chief and Arbiter close behind.

Every one got on the Pelican but Chief. Johnson stared at Chief for a moment and broke the silence. "Do you or do you not want to finish the fight?"

Now, this triggered something in Chief's mind.

This is what he thought happened:

"Do you or do you not want to finish the fight?"

Master Chief's mouth opened wide, so did his eyes.

"YHEAA!" He yelled as he jumped in the air and began to fly. A rainbow being produced like a vapor trail.

While up in the air, Chief found a unicorn and began to beat it to Death. Taking its horn as a prize. Chief was shortly joined by Arbiter who was dressed like Arnold in Terminator 2.

"Your like the son I never had." Arnold the Arbiter said as both fly into space to fight Nazis.

Now this is what really happened:

"Do you or do you not want to finish the fight?"

Chief sat there.

"Chief?" Johnson said. "CHIEF!"

Master chief fell over like a statue. Arbiter looked at Johnson and He did the same. A Marine pulls out a small device and scans Chief.

"He's having a seizure."

"For the love of-" Every one got off the Pelican and tried to lift Chief onto the Pelican, with little success.

* * *

Two pelicans and seventeen Marines later, Chief was on board the Pelican and on his way to the Crows nest base.

A pair of Marine sentries spot the Pelican.

"IFF confirmed. Contact is Pelican Dropship Kilo 23. Over." on says to a Crowns nest operator.

"Roger that. What's the word, Kilo 23?" Asks the Operator.

"Sierra 117 on board. Request priority clearance. Over."

The Marines give each other 'props' via a fist pound and reply: "Deck's yours. Come on down."

Kilo 23 proceeds to land in a hole in the ground.

Chief wakes and sees the Arbiter.

"Hey Arbiter?"

"Yes?" Arbiter replies with a sigh

"Am I the best son you never had?"

Arbiter just looked at him.

Master Chief knew at that moment, Arbiter was probably going to be his best friend, and they would play video games, and kill things, and watch scary movies and-

"Were here." Johnson says and he gets out.

Following suit, so do the Arbiter and Chief. A Marine spots the Chief on the Landing pad.

"Hey, check it out. " One says.

"No way! A Spartan!" Yells another.

"For real? You better not be...." Says a third, as he is blinded.

"No man. He's here! We're gonna be alright!" Replies the first.

Commander Miranda Keyes comes out onto the Landing Pad to meet Johnson, Arbiter and the Master Chief.

"Where'd you find him?" She asked.

"Napping. Out back." Replies Johnson as they salute each other.

"Hmm, I'll bet. It's good to see you Chief." Keyes says as she raises her hand to shake the Chief's

"Uhh, yeah like wise." Says the Chief.

"Let's get you up to speed." She says as she begins to walk off into the base.

The others follow. Chief whispers to Johnson: "How old am I again?"

Johnson gives Chief a weird look but replies: "I dont know, forty two? Why?"

Chief ignored the question and continued "And Shes like almost thirty right?'

Johnson knew where this was going and just stopped the conversation.

"The Prophet of Truth's ships breached the Lunar Perimeter. Smashed what was left of the Home Fleet." Miranda began. "Terrestrial casualties from the subsequent bombardment were..." She stopped as they pass

some medics carrying a Marine on a stretcher. "...extreme. Truth could've landed anywhere, but he committed all his forces here. East Africa, The ruins of New Mombasa. Then, they started digging."

Chief remembered that The Prophet was going to activate Halo and asked "What about Halo?"

"We stopped it," She said "but only temporarily. Now, the Prophet of Truth is looking for something called 'The Ark', where he'll be able to fire all the Halo Rings. If he succeeds, Humanity, The Covenant, every sentient being in the Galaxy..."

"The Rings will own us." Said Chief. Miranda gave him a blank stare.

"Well uhh thats...." Miranda tried to come up with some reply but a Technician broke the silence

"Ma'am, I have Lord Hood." He said.

"Patch him through." She said as she looked at the screen.

"Good news, Commander Keyes?" Asked Lord Hood.

"As good as it gets, sir." Miranda said.

"So I see." Said Hood. "What's your status, son?" He said towards Chief.

"Green. Sir." Said Chief.

"Glad to hear it." Hood said. "The Commander's come up with a good plan. But without you, I wasn't sure we could pull it off."

"Truth's ships are clustered above the excavation site." Miranda began "And his infantry has deployed Anti-Aircraft Batteries around the perimeter. But, if we neutralize one of the batteries, punch a hole in Truth's defenses..."

"I'll initiate a low-level strike. Hit 'em right where it hurts. I only have a handful of ships, Master Chief. It's a big risk. But I'm confident—" Hood was cut off. In fact all the power was cut off.

"Hell! Not again!" Yelled a Technician.

"Emergency generators! Now!" Commanded Miranda.

"Shielding failed. They're down and charging." Said another Tech.

"As soon as they're up, reestablish contact with Lord Hood. Let him know that-" Miranda was cut off as an image came up on all screens. It was the Covenant Prophet of Truth.

"You are, all of you, vermin." He began "Cowering in the dirt, thinking what, I wonder? That you might escape the coming fire? No. Your world will burn until its surface is but glass! Not even your Demon will live to creep...blackened...from its hole to mar the reflection of our passage; the culmination of our Journey. For your destruction is the will of the gods! And I...I am their instrument!"

Chief pointed his finger at the Main screen and said: "No, YOU!"

* * *

_**Comments are always apperciated **_

_**thanks for the read  
**_


	3. Chapter 3 all of Crows nest

"Cocky bastard just loves to run his mouth!" Johnson said as he looked towards Chief.

Miranda looked down and thought for a moment then began to speak. "Give the order. We're closing shop."

"Ma'am?" asked the Technician.

"We're about to get hit." She replied.

The Technician got over the PA system. "All personnel. Defense code Alpha."

"The wounded," Keyes said. "Were getting them out."

"Prepare for immediate evacuation." The Technician continued,

"If I have to carry 'em myself." Said Johnson as a reply to Miranda.

"Ma'am," The Tech asked "squad leaders are requesting a rally point. Where should they go?"

Miranda pulls out her pistol and pulls back the slide. "To war." she said letting go of the slide.

"That was a little.....dramatic." Chief said.

"Well I'm trying to inspire my troops a bit Chief." Miranda retorted.

'Inspire the troops eh?' Chief thought to himself. He looked at a Marine wounded on the floor as Miranda talked to the Tech. Chief walked to the Marine and bent down beside him.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi sir..." The Marine said back.

"Would you like to go get help from a doctor or a medic?" Chief asked the Marine.

"Very much so sir." The Marine replied.

"Awww, isnt that cute?" Chief said. "But the thing is you have to go to war now." Chief gave the Marine a pistol.

"Sir, with all do respect I'm not fit to fight-"

"Grow some balls Marine." Chief hissed. "When the Loli commanded tells you to go to war you better get to fighting, because thats the only way you will EVER get in her pants."

The room was silent and all eyes where on Chief.

"...Right." Keyes said. "Any way....Any birds less than 5 minutes out, bring them in. Tell everything else to scatter." She ordered.

Miranda kept giving orders to the Marines and Johnson looked at Chief.

"Chief, move out. You too, Arbiter. The Commander will brief you as you go."

Chief shook his head in acknowledgment and began to walk towards the stairs. Arbiter followed him. The Spartan and the Elite met a few Marines on the stairs.

"Follow me sir." Said the first.

"Perimeter is this way." Said the second.

The Marines led them to a small weapons cache and Chief armed himself. Arbiter did the same, reluctantly.

"Hey Arbiter." Chief said, "If you want my clothes, boots, and my motorcycle then they're yours."

The Arbiter ignored this comment and walked to the Marines that had led them.

"This base is full of old 20th century tech." The First Marine said. "Built for some old war, its got lots of things, like these door controls, that your probably going to run into alot."

"Yeah I doubt it." Chief said, looking into the scope of the Battle rifle he was holding. "I bet its only used once or twice during this mission. Leaving me with the question, why even bother telling me this trivial and meaningless fact?"

The marine pushed the door panel and remained silent. The door opened and a cave-like area was beyond it. Marines setting up fortified positions around the area. A Gunnery Sergeant was barking Orders at the Marines as Chief and the Arbiter passed by.

"Hey Reynolds!" Chief yelled at the Gunny, "You owe me a beer!"

The Gunny turned and yelled back: "I'm Stacker you twat!"

Chief just kept walking but flipped him off.

"Yeah, yeah Fu-" A burst from a turret went off. "-you too Chief!" Stacker yelled.

The cave began to shake but stopped almost instantly.

"Point of entry, best assessment?" Stacker said over the com.

"The hangar, Sergeant." Replied a Marine.

"Agreed. Arbiter, Man child. Get there." Stacker said.

"DONT MAKE ME KILL YOU STACKER!" Chief yelled over the com.

"I dare you to try, you over weight, over paid, man child of a science experiment gone wrong!"

Chief looked down and murmured to himself. "Just because my health regenerates, doesn't mean my heart does."

Chief and Arbiter moved on and met up with two Marines.

"Were with you Sir." Said PFC Chips Dubbo.

"CHIPS!" Chief exclaimed. "Wheres Fish?"

"Sir?" asked the Marine.

"Uhh..... nothing." Chief said. "Lets go."

as the group pressed forward Chief's com went on. "Chief?" Miranda's voice said over the com. "Good, this channel is secure" She said. "My fire-teams are spread thin. We can't hold out forever. I need that hangar cleared for evac, ASAP."

"Yes ma'am." Chief said. "Are you sure you need nothing els?" Chief asked.

"What do you mean?" Miranda questioned back.

"I was thinking something along the lines of sex." Chief said. "But if your the take it slow kind of person then I understand."

"Just clear the hanger Chief." Miranda said and got off the line.

'ungrateful whore.' Chief thought to himself as his group moved forward.

Chief and his team fight their way to the hangar, once there they engage the hostile forces and let the pelicans take off. Once they do, Johnson calls Chief back to the ops center. Once he enters the cave area of the barracks he and the Marines are attacked by a swarm of Drones. Chief quickly dispatches of them and presses forward.

"If I try to hook up a timer, it might just go off by itself." Reynolds said.

"Johnson? You might want to put that out." Miranda said over the Main screen. Johnson took out his cigar and stomped on it. "Chief, have a look." Miranda said. "A little going away gift for the Covenant. We've linked it to smaller charges throughout the base. Johnson, soon as the evacuation is complete, start the timer."

"Understood." Johnson said.

"Good luck everyone." Miranda said. "See you on the last Pelican out."

Johnson turned towards Chief and the Arbiter. "Chief, Arbiter. Follow me."

Chief looked back at Reynolds. "Hope you Die, Stacker."

"But Chief...." Reynolds said. "Its me..... Reynolds....were buddies."

"Right..." Chief said feeling a bit like a idiot. "Sorry......You owe me a beer." Chief said and walked off.

"Brutes have taken the barracks." Johnson said. "Marines are trapped inside. Those apes ain't much for mercy, Chief. We both know what they do to prisoners."

"Yeah they like to treat us like prison bitches...." Chief said out loud. The Arbiter turned his head towards chief and gave him a stare. "N-not that I would have any prior experience hehe..." Chief said to The Arbiter.

"Right." Johnson said. "Get to the barracks, save those men. Then escort them to the Landing Pad for evac."

"I'll see what I can do." Chief said as he walked in the door, Arbiter close behind.

Chief and the Arbiter fight their way through the Barracks and save all the Marines they can. They get them to the landing pad and engage Brute jump jet soldiers. When they clear them out, the last pelican comes in for the pick up.

Chief and Arbiter stood on the Landing pad with bodies laying all around them. Chief noticed a door opening and Johnson was running through it, Drones following him.

"Drones! Go! I'll cover you!" Johnson yelled as he laid down fire on them. Chief and The Arbiter began to fire on them too. the few Drones are quickly eliminated. Chief and the Arbiter meet up with Johnson. "Brutes." He said. "In the Ops Center. They disarmed the bomb. Sorry Commander, there were too many. Even for me."

Miranda began to give orders. "Chief, get back to the Ops Center. Kill those Brutes. Rearm the bomb. I've gotta get these men outta here. But I'll radio with another exit. Good luck."

"Yes ma'am." Chief said and motioned for the Arbiter to follow.

The Two fight their way through Covenant held areas of the base until they reach the ops center. There, Brutes are talking to The Prophet of Truth on the main screen.

"Have you discovered how they plan to stop me?" The Prophet asked.

"Not just yet, Noble Prophet." The Chieftain said nervously.

"Find out what I need to know, or your place on the path is forfeit. Tell me you understand!" Truth angrily said over the View screen.

"Yes, Holy One" The Chieftain replied. "It shall be done." Truth disconnected from the screen and the Brute began to give orders. "Have the Drones scour these machines!! Find out what these heathens know about the Ark!!"

Chief and Arbiter took this opportunity to quickly dispatch the Covenant squad. The Chieftain turned and began to take out his Fuel rod Gun but the Arbiter pulled out an Energy Sword and ran him through.  
The Chieftain was alive, but barely, and lifted his arms to try and Smash the Arbiter but Chief gave him a burst from his Battle rifle right through his skull.

"Good shot Spartan." Arbiter said as he pulled the sword out of the Brute.

"Hit the switch, Chief. Arm that bomb!" Johnson's voice said over the Com. Master Chief did and the bomb went back into it's armed state.

"That did it, Chief! Bombs armed." Miranda said over the com.

"We got your exit." Johnson said. "A service elevator in the hangar. Head downstairs, cut through the caves!" Chief and Arbiter began to move. They run to the caves where a bunch of Grunts run wildly.

"You know," Chief said. "If this was some level, in some awesome video game, I would be pretty pissed because for a straight line shooter there's alot of back tracking. It's like they where lazy and just decided to not even work on their supposed 'master piece'. Good thing its not right Arbiter?"

The Arbiter shook his head in agreement and the two made their way to the SAME hangar that they had went to in the BEGINNING of the mission. Once there they locate the service elevator and activate it. Just as the doors begin to close they get stopped by something and Fire erupts through the opening. The Elevator begins to go down and a explosion blasts through the opening severing the Cable holding the elevator.

"Bugger me." Said Chief as they begin to fall. "It's ok though." He continued. "Because when something similar like this happened in Terminator one and you-"

The elevator crashed into the floor.

* * *

**been a while, as you probably know. regardless, expect my usual updating schedule.**

**give me a review if you read, always open to helpful comments or constructive criticism.**

**thanks to the guys who did review.**


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